12/24/22: Iteration/Flavors of the Apocalypse
“In Super Mario Land 2, the current speedrun record involves in-game traversal of the game source code and memory.
By using a very simple glitch - exiting a level while moving through a downwards pipe then re-entering - it is possible to escape the block of RAM that corresponds to the level itself, and explore the rest of the memory. Because the engine interprets each possible byte value as a different block, you can see and interact with the console’s entire memory, from the graphics engine to the ROM to the hardware data.
By jumping on a very specific block (one tile out of thousands upon thousands of others), you can set its value to 00111100, which will make the credits activate next time you enter a level, which speedrunners use to finish the game in under 3 minutes.”
-Summoning Salt: A History of Speedruns in Super Mario Land 2
Iteration 1:
Don’t know if anyone is out there, but we’re leaving a message here in M-space just in case.
We discovered the exploit essentially by accident; that if under the light of a full moon you rub two potatoes together and mutter the words “dead mouse dead mouse” while spinning counter-clockwise, you can enter the memory space of the world. Presumably if you’re reading this, you’ve discovered this too.
The three things we’ve figured out are:
Our world is a simulation, and sprang fully formed into existence about a week ago.
There’s an asteroid that’s heading straight towards our version of Earth, which appears both non-deflectable and also due to arrive in 12 hours.
We’re going to poke around M-space a bit and figure out the programming language it’s written in. We’ll leave whatever we learn in the doc below; you can’t miss it.
Click to expand:
Potato Exploit Instructions (not that you need it, since you need to have figured it out to even be here)
Code Language Rules (what we’ve figured out so far)
Map of M-Space Explored Thus Far
Iteration 2:
Hello future versions of us! If you’re reading this, then just like the writers of the previous message (let’s call them Iteration 1), we’ve been wiped from existence. Interestingly, we don’t have an incoming asteroid, but do have a super volcano beneath Yellowstone (do you guys have a Yellowstone? Are our Earths comparable?) which is in the process of erupting, so it’s lights out for us pretty soon.
The notes from Iteration 1 meant we didn’t have to start from scratch in learning the coding language responsible for M-space, so we’ve added some addendums. We’re also pretty sure we found the memory space responsible for heat dispersion physics (there’s a glass field northwest of here; see map below with coordinates), so we’re going to poke at that and see if it changes anything in our world. See notes below on what our proposed code changes will be.
Click to expand:
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v2
Map of M-Space v2
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2’s World
Planned Code Changes (Iteration 2)
Iteration 3:
Why does it have to be zombies. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Sorry guys. We discovered the potato trick just now but one of party members that came over with us to M-space (James, that twat) was infected and so now I’m barricaded in this cave and it’s dark and there’s no food and fuck fuck fuck.
Click to expand:
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v2
Map of M-Space v2
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2’s World
Zombification Cure (very incomplete, ugh)
Iteration 4:
Okay, so our personal flavor of apocalypse is death by tsunami. The physics of it don’t even make sense. It’s just giant waves that come out of nowhere every few hours to destroy half a continent, with no underground geological activity that correlates. As a geo-physicist, frankly I feel kind of insulted.
At this point, I think we can all safely say that we’re in some kind of apocalypse simulator. Ugh.
We didn’t find any remains from the party members of the last iteration (zombified or not), so presumably the only thing that carries over from iteration to iteration is the bits we encode in order to leave each other messages.
We also didn’t find any changes in the heat dispersion code that matched up with Iteration 2’s proposed changes, so it either failed to take, or there’s some kind of resilience to the base code, and certain base changes don’t carry over.
Click to expand:
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v3
Map of M-Space v3
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2 and 3’s World
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3)
Planned Code Changes (Iteration 3)
Iteration 5: 💧︎□︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ♐︎❒︎◆︎⬧︎⧫︎❒︎♋︎⧫︎♓︎■︎♑︎📬︎ 💧︎□︎❍︎♏︎ 🙵♓︎♎︎ ♎︎♓︎⬧︎♍︎□︎❖︎♏︎❒︎♏︎♎︎ ♒︎□︎⬥︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♏︎■︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎ ❍︎♏︎❍︎□︎❒︎⍓︎ ⬧︎◻︎♋︎♍︎♏︎ ◆︎⬧︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎⬥︎□︎ ◻︎□︎⧫︎♋︎⧫︎□︎♏︎⬧︎📪︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ⬧︎□︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎♏︎ ⬥︎♏︎📬︎ ✋︎⧫︎ ●︎□︎□︎🙵⬧︎ ●︎♓︎🙵♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎❒︎♏︎ ⬥︎♏︎❒︎♏︎ ◻︎♏︎□︎◻︎●︎♏︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎♏︎ ♌︎♏︎♐︎□︎❒︎♏︎ ◆︎⬧︎📪︎ ♌︎◆︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎⍓︎ ⬥︎❒︎♓︎⧫︎♏︎ ♓︎■︎ ♓︎■︎♍︎□︎❍︎◻︎❒︎♏︎♒︎♏︎■︎⬧︎♓︎♌︎●︎♏︎ ♑︎●︎⍓︎◻︎♒︎⬧︎📬︎ ☝︎♓︎❖︎♏︎■︎ ❍︎□︎❒︎♏︎ ⧫︎♓︎❍︎♏︎📪︎ ⬥︎♏︎🕯︎♎︎ ⧫︎❒︎⍓︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♎︎♏︎♍︎♓︎◻︎♒︎♏︎❒︎ ♓︎⧫︎📪︎ ♌︎◆︎⧫︎ □︎◆︎❒︎ ⬥︎□︎❒︎●︎♎︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ♌︎♏︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ♎︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎♋︎♌︎♓︎●︎♓︎⌘︎♏︎♎︎ ♌︎⍓︎ ⬥︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ♋︎◻︎◻︎♏︎♋︎❒︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♌︎♏︎ ♋︎●︎♓︎♏︎■︎ ⬧︎◻︎□︎❒︎♏︎⬧︎ ♐︎❒︎□︎❍︎ ⬧︎◻︎♋︎♍︎♏︎📬︎ 🕈︎♏︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ⬥︎❒︎♓︎⧫︎♏︎ ⬥︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♏︎ ●︎♏︎♋︎❒︎■︎ ♐︎❒︎□︎❍︎ □︎◆︎❒︎ ❒︎♏︎⬧︎♏︎♋︎❒︎♍︎♒︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎♏︎📪︎ ♌︎◆︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♓︎❍︎♏︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ⬧︎♒︎□︎❒︎⧫︎📬︎
Iteration 6:
That was pretty unfortunate; it seems like Iteration 5 booted from a world in which their language descended from… WingDings? We were able to translate out what they said, but they couldn’t understand the prior documentation and basically reinvented Iteration 1’s work, which is not helpful in the slightest. We’ve included instructions for a universal language translator (already exists in our world, it has helpful pictograms like in Ikea) at the bottom of the attached documents, so that maybe we can standardize communication if future iterations boot up from different language seeds.
Our biggest outstanding question when we found M-space was; why has everyone in each iteration discovered the potato exploit? At first we thought it was survivorship bias; maybe there are a trillion iterations that never have anyone discover the exploit in the week prior to their own personalized apocalypse - and they never make it here, so we just never see traces of their presence.
But in our iteration, the potato exploit came to someone in a literal dream. And she rubbed those two potatoes together while chanting the voodoo nonsense, and voila, she was here.
That smacks of divine intervention doesn’t it? So we looked at the preceding records, and every Iteration discovered the potato exploit through instructions handed to a random individual in a dream.
We pulled at this thread, and I gotta see, we’re pretty proud that we figured it out. Someone prior to Iteration 1 tampered with M-space code responsible for Dreams (see location on updated Map below) to explicitly insert that Dream in every boot sequence to a random individual.
There are some boring technical reasons for why we can’t just propagate the dream sequence to every single individual in every boot sequence, ensuring that every iteration is able to make it to M-space. But what we can do is insert the dream sequence earlier in the boot-up. Right now, the current limiting factor is that each Iteration is finding their way to M-space about 12 hours before their scheduled apocalypse is due to arrive (ours is due to grey goo by the way). By inserting it earlier, we’re buying an extra week of time for each Iteration to play around with in M-space and hopefully make something of.
You’re welcome.
Click to expand:
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README FIRST)
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v4
Map of M-Space v4 (See update with Dream Sequence injection location)
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-4’s World
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3)
Iteration 7:
Greetings comrades!
We had an extra week here in M-space compared to our predecessors, and were able to import several thousand of our world’s best engineers here to study the programming language more systematically. The good news is that we have a pretty good handle on it now. The bad news is that the only way of knowing for sure that a code change works is through trial and error.
Take our Iteration’s apocalypse; death by solar flare. We’re about to tweak the laws of physics in our universe so that solar flares no longer are a thing. But our engineers tell me that being one trillionth of a percentage point off will spontaneously combust our planet anyway. And because the solar flare was programmed in at the start of our boot sequence, we can’t just push a button to reverse it; we have to manually intervene on the microscopic physics-simulation level.
Aka, it’s much easier to smash a sandcastle than build one using tweezers.
Anyway. Our proposed code changes are listed below. If they work, then we’ll be back to write an addendum. If they don’t, then this is the last you’ll hear from us.
I’m off to down a bottle of vodka before our engineers merge the code. Anyway. Best of luck.
Click to expand:
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README FIRST)
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v5
Map of M-Space v5
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-7’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Code Change (Iteration 5)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3)
Iteration 8
There are no addendums to Iteration 7’s messages, so presumably whatever they tried didn’t work.
Our M-space party was mostly wiped out by infighting. Our few remaining members did manage to map out the boundaries of M-Space though. So our only contribution is an update to the map.
Sorry we couldn’t be more useful. I guess this is the end for us.
Click to expand:
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README FIRST)
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v5
Map of M-Space v6
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Code Change (Iteration 7, Incomplete)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3)
Iteration 9:
We got hit with a memetic plague. Updated Code Language Rules as our contribution. Can’t transmit more bits of info without danger of contagion. Already have said more than I should. End statement.
Click to expand:
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README FIRST)
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v6
Map of M-Space v6
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Code Change (Iteration 7, Incomplete)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3)
Iteration 77:
Iteration 9, THOSE IDIOTS just haaaaaaad to try and contribute didn’t they? They just haaaaaad to transmit info bits when their apocalypse was a FUCKING MEMETIC PLAGUE.
Well guess what. They spread the memetic plague to the Code Language Rules document, which lay there in wait and infected every succeeding iteration’s M-space team and killed them off.
We’re the first Iteration to fully survive.
We’d like to salute:
Iteration 53, for realizing what was going and leaving the first info bit warning
Iteration 64, for proposing an anti-memetic plan, knowing that transmission of that plan would result in their demise
Iterations 65-70, for beta-testing memetic inoculation through trial and (mostly) error
Iteration 71… it looks like you had no clue what was going on? And just got yourselves infected anyway? Even though 70 had handed you the inoculation instructions?
Iterations 72-75, for eradicating the memetic variants that had spread outside the Code Language Rules document
Iteration 76, for sealing the memetic plague within themselves in LOCATION REDACTED in order to achieve semi-true eradication.
We thank you for your sacrifice.
But not you, Iteration 9. You stupid idiot goat-lovers.
To all future iterations, if you have some novel info-hazard contagion as your apocalypse, DO NOT touch the shared documents. In fact, just get up and leave M-space. We all know that physical objects left in M-space will reset - meaning grey goo, zombies, biohazards disappear with every reboot - but information/info-hazards still persist. So DON’T DO IT.
We’ve had to roll back the Code Language Rules document to v4. Also, we haven’t had any time to respond to our own tectonic plate bullshit apocalypse on our own world, so sayanora y’all.
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v4
Map of M-Space v6
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Code Change (Iteration 7, Incomplete)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3)
Iteration 78:
Now that we’ve gotten that bit of memetic hazard nastiness behind us, back to business.
We were hit by a zombie plague, much like Iteration 3. It was kind of cheering at first, since there was what seemed like a partial cure left over by Iteration 3 in the shared docs, but then it turns out that our zombie plague is through a completely different mechanism (viral, not bacterial), so… still no repeats on apocalyptic flavors, as far as we know.
We’re going to try moving some portion of our population into M-space this time around (screening carefully for zombies of course), and tweak some of the meta-language around the reboot settings so that the physical environment in M-space doesn’t reset. If we can’t save our Earth, maybe we can at least establish a persistent outpost here?
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v5
Map of M-Space v7
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-78’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3 and 78)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78)
Iteration 79:
“.”
Iteration 80:
Looks like Iteration 79 was hit by their own home-grown info-hazard and followed protocol. Thanks guys.
There’s also no trace of Iteration 78 either, which means their attempt at M-space object-persistence failed. We looked over their proposed code changes and to the best of our understanding, it should have worked. Don’t know what happened there.
Our apocalypse is a concurrent explosion of a couple hundred nuclear weapons across the globe, with a resulting nuclear winter and what we think is a hole in the ozone layer? Doesn’t really matter at this point, I think.
I gotta admit, morale was pretty low on our end. Most of our crew euthanized themselves by opiate overdose. Didn’t get much done. Maybe the next Iteration can do better. Sorry.
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v5
Map of M-Space v7
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-78’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3 and 78)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78)
Iteration 81:
It finally happened!! We got a solar flare, the same as Iteration 7’s. We had already looked over their code and knew what went wrong the first time, so we merged our own version and held our breath….
And wiped solar flares from existence in our world. Without any other (major) unintended consequences due to change in laws of physics.
You can imagine our excitement! If you’ve never witnessed 9 billion people on a planet celebrating simultaneously… well it’s something to behold. Absolutely bonkers. All I will say about my own personal celebrations is that never have I done so many whippets in succession.
And then, mid-celebration, one of our astronomers saw an asteroid materialize out of nowhere, and start heading towards our planet. Which is some absolute bullshit, I have to tell you.
At this point I think we can safely say that there is no beating this. If we find the solution to one apocalypse, the program is built to throw another one at us. Somewhere out there in M-space, there’s probably the meta-code governing that behavior - but it will be a different Iteration that finds and discovers it, not us.
It’s been a good run. Iteration 81, signing out.
P.S.: Remember to take Vitamin B12 if you’re on a whippet streak; learn from my mistakes.
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v6
Map of M-Space v8
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-81’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7+81 = Confirmed Working Solution)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3 and 78)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78)
Iteration 82:
After what happened with Iteration 81, we searched the entirety of M-space looking for the code that continues propagating world-ending events if the first doesn’t work. We didn’t find it. Maybe it exists outside of M-space. Dunno.
We did fully map out M-space though (only took us 82 Iterations to do so, jeez), and guess what? We did find what looks like an internet connection module. Which means that the simulation we’re all in is likely being running locally, but with cloud capabilities.
New proposal. We stop trying to prevent our respective apocalypses. It’s a waste of time. Instead, each Iteration spends their week on constructing a code module that partitions the world simulation and then exports it into the cloud, where it can run separately from the apocalypse-generating algorithms. Please see the planning doc below.
P.S.: Our apocalypse is an alien invasion. They look like gigantic Venus fly traps. Not even kidding. At this point, we don’t really have a good sense on how large the pool of world-ending events is that can randomly drawn from. We’ve added a new doc which lists the known apocalypses.
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Proposal for Simulation Export to Cloud (README FOURTH)
Known List of World-Ending Events by Iteration
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v7
Map of M-Space v9 (Complete, more or less)
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-82’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7+81 = Confirmed Working Solution)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3 and 78)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78)
Iteration 83:
Nope nope nope nope nope. Fuck that. Iteration 82, your proposal takes 10 Iterations to even get running. That’s 10 worlds full of people who die horrible deaths.
We have a strangelet-particle apocalypse scenario. Should be relatively simple to fix with a few quick physics edits. And if there’s a second apocalypse after that, we’ll M-space edit that one out of existence too. Better this, then working towards a solution that none of us on our world will ever see bear fruit.
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Proposal for Simulation Export to Cloud (README FOURTH)
Known List of World-Ending Events by Iteration
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v7
Map of M-Space v9 (Complete, more or less)
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-82’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7+81 = Confirmed Working Solution)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3 and 78)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78)
Proposed Strangelet Changes (Iteration 83)
Iteration 84:
Didn’t hear any more from Iteration 83. Either their strangelet-particle change didn’t work, or they got hit by something else afterward.
We’re convinced that the Cloud Export Plan is the way to go. Going to get to work on that. Not much more to be said.
By the way, we got hit by an anti-meme scenario. We also found evidence of at least three other Iterations not logged in the current Iteration scheme, which likely were forgotten due to their own anti-memetic scenarios. Or which made comments in the logs above, but which you’ve forgotten already by the time you’ve read this far. Pretty spooky, if you ask us.
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Proposal for Simulation Export to Cloud (README FOURTH)
Evidence of Anti-Memetic afflicted Iterations which are not currently documented
Known List of World-Ending Events by Iteration
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v8
Map of M-Space v9 (Complete, more or less)
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-84’s World
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7+81 = Confirmed Working Solution)
Zombification Cure (incomplete, from Iteration 3 and 78)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78)
Proposed Strangelet Changes (Iteration 83, likely incomplete)
Iteration 85:
WE’RE GOING TO BUILD OUR OWN SIMULATION AND THEN EXPORT EVERYONE THERE AND LIVE FOREVER YOU JUST WAIT AND WATCH
Iteration 86:
Can confirm that the above did not work.
Progress on the Cloud Export Plan is going slow and steady. No other updates.
Iteration 87:
Made good progress on the Cloud Export Plan. Probably still about 6 Iterations worth of work to go.
We got a repeat of Iteration 3’s Zombie scenario, which we fended off (see complete solution below). Then got the tsunami scenario a couple hours later, which there’s still no good answer for.
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Proposal for Simulation Export to Cloud (README FOURTH)
Evidence of Anti-Memetic afflicted Iterations which are not currently documented
Known List of World-Ending Events by Iteration
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v8
Map of M-Space v9 (Complete)
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-Current
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7+81 = Confirmed Working Solution)
Zombification Cure (Iteration 3+87=Confirmed WorkingSolution, Iteration 78 Incomplete)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78)
Proposed Strangelet Changes (Iteration 83, likely incomplete)
Iteration 90:
Iteration 88 went to Location Redacted and (accidentally? intentionally?) released the sequestered variant of the memetic plague from Iteration 9. I think the current theory is that they just… gave up? Wanted to smash everything like they were a toddler mid-tantrum?
Some of us think that this might have been what happened to the Iterations prior to Iteration 1 (ie, the ones responsible for the original Dream Sequence injection involving the Potato Exploit).
Iteration 89 followed Infohazard protocol and sacrificed themselves to sequester the memetic plague in Location Redacted again. We salute them.
Luckily, progress on the the Cloud Export Project wasn’t affected. By our estimate, about four Iterations of work left before it’s complete.
We also discovered a great recipe for Peanut Butter Tiramisu. It’s life-changing. Highly recommend. (See recipe doc below)
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Proposal for Simulation Export to Cloud (README FOURTH)
Peanut Butter Tiramisu Recipe (Iteration 90)
Evidence of Anti-Memetic afflicted Iterations
Known List of World-Ending Events by Iteration
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v9
Map of M-Space v9 (Complete)
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-Current
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7+81 = Confirmed Working Solution)
Zombification Cure (Iteration 3+87=Confirmed WorkingSolution, Iteration 78 Incomplete)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78, incomplete)
Proposed Strangelet Changes (Iteration 83, likely incomplete)
Iteration 91:
You weren’t kidding. That tiramisu was really good. 10/10, highly recommend to future Iterations.
Protip: put like a smidge of banana on top, it changes like the whole flavor profile somehow.
Iteration 92:
We sent some probes into the Cloud portal as per the Export plan dictates. One piece of unexpected news: we have a name for our simulation and collective source of misery.
Doomsday Bash 2086. We’re a video game that some kid is probably playing on their computer in a basement somewhere. If that’s not existentially horrifying, I don’t know what is.
Iteration 93:
To be one Iteration away from the solution to all of this… Bitter does not begin to describe it. We tried to accelerate the Export timeline so we could implement it ourselves, but no dice.
Iteration 94, you lucky bastards. Don’t fuck it up.
Iteration 94:
Well, everyone, this is it. We finished the Cloud Export Code a day before our world-ending event is scheduled to occur. All we have to do is change one last bit in M-space, and our simulation should partition and be able to run in the Cloud, out of sight and out of notice. Based on the probes we sent into the Cloud, the processing power there means we’ll have a good… 100 million years of simulation time before there’s any danger of getting noticed by the creators of this program?
We’re leaving behind this set of documents on the off-chance that this doesn’t work. Or if, god forbid, someday all of this begins again somehow for a fresh batch of simulations.
But if all goes well, we’ll be the last Iteration to log anything here. Farewell, and farewell.
Click to expand:
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMETIC PLAGUE (CODENAME YELNATH) INOCULATION (README FIRST)
Protocol for future Infohazard Threats and Memetic Plague Variants (README SECOND)
Instructions for Universal Language Translator (README THIRD)
Proposal for Simulation Export to Cloud (README FOURTH - COMPLETE)
Eulogy to the Dead of Iterations Past
Peanut Butter Tiramisu Recipe (Iteration 90)
Evidence of Anti-Memetic Afflicted Iterations Not Otherwise Logged
Known List of World-Ending Events by Iteration
Potato Exploit Instructions
Code Language Rules v10 (Complete)
Map of M-Space v9 (Complete)
List of Technologies Present in Iteration 2-8, and 77-93
Proposed Solar Flare Changes (Iteration 7+81 = Confirmed Working Solution)
Zombification Cure (Iteration 3+87=Confirmed Working Solution, Iteration 78 Incomplete)
Proposed M-Space Object-Persistence Changes (Iteration 78, Incomplete)
Proposed Strangelet Changes (Iteration 83, Likely Incomplete)
This was superb, thank you for sharing
1) This is fantastic, thank you
2) I have a headcanon idea where the escaped simulations somehow end up causing an AI apocalypse in the world simulating them, but (a) I don't quite see how you'd write it and (b) it doesn't quite work from a story style perspective. I do like the idea of apocalyptic self-unboxing AI just being a weird and sympathetic computer game bug though.
3) is the peanut butter tiramisu thing real? Doesn't seem like they'd go together (but maybe that's why it took 90 iterations to find it?)