7/27/22: Language Line Solutions

Good morning, this is Language Line Solutions, you’re on a recorded line. How may we help you today?

“Tell me where the gold is buried and I won’t shoot,” the sheriff said. Then he gestured to the translator.

“Tell him where the gold is and he’ll spare your life,” the Language Line solutions translator said over the iPad.

“It’s buried by the old tree near the church on Elm street!” the captured pirate said. “Please! Don’t shoot!”

“He says that he’s willing to die before telling you,” the translator said. The pirate licked his lips nervously.

The sheriff shot the pirate dead. 

“You translated everything correctly? Translator… Cao?”

“Of course.”

“You’d bet your five star rating on that?”

“Yes.”

“Then that will be all.”

“Thank you for using Language Line Solutions, please have a good rest of the day.” 

The iPad clicked to a close. “Goddamn web translators,” the sheriff said, wiping his shoes clean of blood. “Should have just used Google translate.”

On the other side of the world, translator Cao cracked open a beer while browsing google maps. “Where the fuck is that Elm street?” he muttered. “Should have dragged things out for better instructions.”