8/28/22: Accio Hard Drive

John was full of regrets. He regretted accidentally throwing away his bitcoin wallet fifteen years ago. He regretted then spending those fifteen years obsessing over retrieving the hard drive with his wallet. He regretted letting this obsession result in his divorce. He regretted that even now, he was checking the price of Bitcoin on his phone, and internally calculating that he would be worth 770 million dollars if he just hadn’t thrown away that hard drive.

He fell asleep with his phone flat on his chest, and woke up in a room with no windows. Before him there were two doors, and a wizard standing before them.

“Welcome to the Room of Two Doors,” the wizard said. “Yes you are in a dream, and yes your choice here will affect your waking life.”

“I’m here to propose a business venture. Wizards are normally not allowed to interfere with the Muggle world, but due to my recent acts of valor at the Ministry, I’ve been granted a one-spell interaction with a Muggle of my choosing.”

“With your permission, I’d like to retrieve the hard drive with your bitcoin wallet on it,” he said. “We would then split the money 50/50.”

John nodded.

“Accio John Valerio’s bitcoin wallet hard drive!” the wizard said. There was a whooshing sound, and then a hard drive, stinking with the smell of the landfill, landed in front of them both.

“There. That was perhaps the most profitable use of the Accio spell in history.”

“Wait, what was in the other Door?” John asked. But the wizard was gone, and John woke up.