9/22/22: Moral Offsets Inc

Every month, Moral Offsets Inc paid Marnie two hundred dollars to be vegan so that one of its customers could eat meat. 

She took no issue with this. It helped pay the rent.

The idea went that if you had money and simultaneously wanted to help the environment and also be carnivorous, you’d put your money where your mouth was. By paying several other meat-eaters to go vegan, in order to offset your moral and environmental footprint.

After a year, the money for going carless became good enough that Marnie finally sold her Ford Explorer and bought an ebike. As she zipped past rush hour on Santa Monica Boulevard, she often wondered if she was passing by the person who had paid for the privilege to drive their car guilt-free.

She made a few more sacrifices, here and there, when the pay was right. Started hanging up her laundry rather than use the dryer. Shopped purely at thrift stores. Someone paid her to care about a few political issues she had previously been agnostic about. She found that attending rallies gave her a sense of belonging she’d never really had before, so she didn’t complain.

Two years into the program, she was living her best life and being paid for it. She ate well (her cardiologist went so far as to give her a high-five on her cholesterol), exercised by biking to work, and volunteered at the dog shelter. 

She was… happy. Unexpectedly so.